I know...you're about to pass out...2 posts in one day...for real? Well...
She is ecstatic to be a big sister. She has big plans...feeding the baby, pushing the baby in a stroller, singing to the baby, rocking the baby...all great plans...but she has made it perfectly clear she doesn't want to change diapers. Fair enough. Can't say I blame her.
We are {for the most part} thrilled! I would say that I am beyond thrilled but I have so many worries...
Kayla will be 6 {and a half} by the time this baby comes. I am worried that I won't know how to be a Mommy to two kids. It's been just us for so long. She has been our world. Our everything. How can I possibly share love for another being? Can I love another child as much as I love her? Have I forgotten all of parenting-a-newborn stuff?
Another worry is the delivery experience. With Kayla, all of my joy and excitement was ripped away by doctors and family that really have no real understanding of Down syndrome. And at that time, neither did I. But those first few moments and days as a new Mommy were stolen from me by the hurt, pain and fear. I don't want that with this child. While with every child there is an unknown, I want to be accepting and more importantly, I want others to be accepting. Family have already begun asking "if everything is ok with this baby" {translation: does this baby have Down syndrome}. Clearly a lack of knowledge and understanding is fueling these questions, but what if this child has Down syndrome? Does that mean we will love him or her any less? Absolutely not. We are ready to accept life...to embrace a brand new baby...and hope our family and friends are, too. Each new baby brings challenges. We just hope the baby is healthy.
I know many of my worries and fears are natural and I just need to get over it...but these are the thoughts that creep into my head during the dark hours as I lay awake in my bed {in between getting up to pee 6 times a night}.
Ok...so now that I have vented on my worries...I wanna shout from a rooftop...I am elated with joy! I can't wait to be a Mommy again. An experience I have never known. As an only child, I don't know what it is like to be a sibling and I look forward to that relationship between this baby and Kayla. It is a relationship I have longed for my entire life.
One thing is for sure...I know they will have one thing in common...they both like to dance. This baby likes to move...and makes me aware of his or her presence all day...well, really all night. Yay.
Stay tuned...Baby Kosmalski #2 is scheduled to make his or her debut September 26.
Off to read I'm A Big Sister for the 14th time. She is really getting into her new role and new-found title of Big Sister...