Wednesday, April 11, 2012

One More...


I know...you're about to pass out...2 posts in one day...for real?  Well...
Kayla has some big news to share...




























































She is ecstatic to be a big sister.  She has big plans...feeding the baby, pushing the baby in a stroller, singing to the baby, rocking the baby...all great plans...but she has made it perfectly clear she doesn't want to change diapers.  Fair enough.  Can't say I blame her.

We are {for the most part} thrilled!  I would say that I am beyond thrilled but I have so many worries...
Kayla will be 6 {and a half} by the time this baby comes.  I am worried that I won't know how to be a Mommy to two kids.  It's been just us for so long.  She has been our world.  Our everything.  How can I possibly share love for another being?  Can I love another child as much as I love her?  Have I forgotten all of parenting-a-newborn stuff?

Another worry is the delivery experience.  With Kayla, all of my joy and excitement was ripped away by doctors and family that really have no real understanding of Down syndrome.  And at that time, neither did I.  But those first few moments and days as a new Mommy were stolen from me by the hurt, pain and fear.  I don't want that with this child.  While with every child there is an unknown, I want to be accepting and more importantly, I want others to be accepting.  Family have already begun asking "if everything is ok with this baby" {translation: does this baby have Down syndrome}.  Clearly a lack of knowledge and understanding is fueling these questions, but what if this child has Down syndrome?  Does that mean we will love him or her any less?  Absolutely not.  We are ready to accept life...to embrace a brand new baby...and hope our family and friends are, too.  Each new baby brings challenges.  We just hope the baby is healthy.

I know many of my worries and fears are natural and I just need to get over it...but these are the thoughts that creep into my head during the dark hours as I lay awake in my bed {in between getting up to pee 6 times a night}.

Ok...so now that I have vented on my worries...I wanna shout from a rooftop...I am elated with joy!  I can't wait to be a Mommy again.  An experience I have never known.  As an only child, I don't know what it is like to be a sibling and I look forward to that relationship between this baby and Kayla.  It is a relationship I have longed for my entire life.

One thing is for sure...I know they will have one thing in common...they both like to dance.  This baby likes to move...and makes me aware of his or her presence all day...well, really all night.  Yay.

Stay tuned...Baby Kosmalski #2 is scheduled to make his or her debut September 26.
Off to read I'm A Big Sister for the 14th time.  She is really getting into her new role and new-found title of Big Sister...

So much to say...

I know...I have promised over and over not to leave you hanging for a month and then it happens.  I don't know how it happens but months pass by like days.  I blink my eyes and here we are in April.  How did that happen?  Well, as you can imagine, I have lots to say...so here goes...

...3:21...
On the 21st day of the third month...we celebrated Down syndrome.  We celebrated Kayla and all of her friends that rock designer genes.  We didn't wear party hats, blow up balloons or send bright colored fireworks into the night sky {although if it were up to me, we would have because who doesn't love a party?}. 

Instead we celebrated people gathered from across the globe at the United Nations in NYC.  I can tell you from this experience I have learned many things...


It doesn't matter what language you speak, the type of clothes you wear or how different we are to realize we are all different, yet so much the same.  All of us gathered in that room were there to show our pride, our love and our admiration for all of our children with Down syndrome.  And while we may not have understood each others language, we did understand how grateful all of us were for Down syndrome.  How profoundly Down syndrome had changed the direction and course of our lives...but more importantly how we are all the better for it.  By embracing Down syndrome, we have embraced a life far more rich than the life we knew before.

We sat, listened and learned from self-advocates, experts and doctors from across the world.  One statistic that will forever haunt me is in Africa, newborn babies with Down syndrome are taken to the beach the day they are born and left there.  They believe Down syndrome is a curse from God.  If by the next morning your baby is gone {either eaten by an animal or swept away by the tides}, that curse was not meant for your family.  If you return to the beach and your baby is there, that curse was meant for you and you are meant to care for that child.  I have heard of mental institutions and cruelty and injustice for people with Down syndrome...but this story, this sad fact made my heart heavier than ever before.  Beautiful babies with Down syndrome abandoned because of an extra chromosome.  Abandoned because of ignorance and a lack of awareness and acceptance.

Meeting new people from across the globe assured me we are moving in the right direction.  We are stepping forward, showing the world how truly amazing people with Down syndrome are.
People like...
Ryan {you may recognize this cutie from Target and Nordstrom ads}

This beautiful girl with Down syndrome interviewed Kayla...she was a reporter from Brazil.  YES...I said REPORTER.  I'll be sure to forward Kayla's interview once I get a copy of it...although I am sure it will be interesting trying to listen to it in Portugese!

Quite possibly the funniest part of this picture is that Ryan was not at all happy that she got between him and Kayla.  I think he had a bit of a crush on Kayla...just sayin'.  They do make a cute couple!

All of these individuals with Down syndrome...every one...all different, yet so much the same...all of them beautiful and perfect...just the way they are...

And of course...my beautiful, Kayla...

I never knew true love or true beauty until I held you in my arms.  My eyes have forever been opened to true beauty.  To finding perfection in unexpected places.  You have enabled me to stretch my comfort level and become a much better person.  For everything I am today, I will eternally be grateful to you.

Celebrating all of these beautiful people today makes my heart happy.

A funny story...but true...I never knew the impact that Kayla is making on this world until we were stopped in the bathroom...I mean...don't get me wrong, I know she is amazing...but picture in the ladies room amazing?  Apparently.  A woman stopped Kayla and said "I recognize you from the internet.  Kayla, can I have my picture taken with you?" as she handed me her iPhone...and the rest is history.  I can honestly say that no one has ever asked for my picture in the ladies room.

We celebrated with quite possibly the most well-known person with Down syndrome...Chris Burke.

Chris starred as "Corky" in the TV series Life Goes On in the 1980's...and while I have met him several times, I still get star-struck when I see him.  He starred on my favorite show as a child.  But he is so much more than that character.  We talked about everything from music to careers and everything in between.  He is funny, charming and kind and I was grateful to spend this monumental day with him.

And there is no doubt that he is recognizable, even to those that aren't from the US.  As we walked down the hall to lunch, we had to stop every few feet for him to pose for pictures.  He sat next to us the entire conference, ate lunch with us, rode in our car and even had some fries from McDonald's with us to end the day.

Driving home, Rick turned to me and said "How cool was that?"
I agreed.
He finished..."If we did nothing more today, we spent World Down Syndrome Day as a family, celebrating with the most famous person with Down syndrome."

What do I love most about celebrating?  I love celebrating as a family.  Together.  I love how present Rick is.  Scratch that...he's far more than present...he drives my passion and desire to make a difference.  The love that he has for Kayla and for making a difference is awe-inspiring.  I love that he isn't just there on the big days that "count", he is there everyday in between.  I am one lucky girl.  I have the best family.  The best life...and I am blessed with something "extra"...that "extra" 21st chromosome that has changed everything...for the better.

Happy {belated} World Down Syndrome Day!

...Blue-Gold...
By now you have probably heard...our girl was selected as the Blue All-Star buddy for the DFRC Blue-Gold All-Star Football Game {June 23}.  This is a really big deal.  Huge.  She will represent the Blue team...and you know my girl will do it with a huge smile on her face, a wiggle in her walk, a cute little wave and perhaps a few kisses blown.

This event and this organization is beyond amazing.  Words could never describe how awe inspiring it is.  Seniors from across the state of Delaware {top performing football players, cheerleaders, band members and ambassadors} are paired with their buddies {children with intellectual disabilities}.  The result?  An amazing friendship.

This is Kayla's third year involved with DFRC and each year I am more amazed by the magnitude of the organization.  I truly believe that pairing "typical" kids with kids with intellectual disabilities promotes acceptance and understanding.  Thankful and grateful, we want to give back.  If you would like to help, please click here to donate to the DFRC.  Every dollar will make a difference.  We are so grateful for your support.

Kayla has been paired with three seniors from Caravel this year {my alma mater}...Lizzy, Kate and Chris.

Along the way, we have "adopted" Lance and Maura {also from Caravel}.
She is one lucky little girl to have five high school seniors to boss around hang out with...they are amazing.  While it is easy to play the "too cool" routine and be hands off, these kids are anything but.  They truly love Kayla and love hanging out with her.

They have hung out with her at our house...having tea parties, hiding in Kayla's closet, playing in a band and doing just about anything that Kayla wanted them to do...
They hung out with her at the mall...

This was tough for me...I wanted to hang out and take pictures and observe her pure joy but I snapped a few pictures and walked away.  Cutting those Mommy-strings is so difficult.  Allowing her to just be a typical kid...it's what I desire more than anything but for some reason it is still hard to let go...

I wanted my girl to feel like a big kid...to feel like one of them, hanging out with her friends.  What I didn't know is just how much they would spoil her...they made her two Build-a-Bears, took her shopping for a dress at the Gap and even {at my request} had their picture taken with the Easter Bunny...all 6 of them.  Priceless...

And before we left the mall, they posed for just one more picture and ended their fun with a big group hug...Kayla has a way of talking people into group hugs...

They have even hung out with her at school sporting events and regardless of where they are, they are proud to introduce her to their friends.  That says a lot about who they are...accepting, kind and caring individuals and we are so fortunate to have them in our lives...

...Easter...
I am not sure how it is even possible but each and every holiday with Kayla gets better than the one before.  Her excitement increases and her pure joy is contagious.  Oh how I wish I could bottle that joy for days when I tend to forget about how important it is just to enjoy the beauty in that day.

And yes, all of these baskets are hers...spoiled?  Just a bit...
The Easter Bunny was amazingly creative this year, hiding over 70 eggs.  Yes, I said 70 eggs.  But somehow I think that magical bunny suspected this would be her absolute favorite part...and it only happens once a year, right?
Suspicions confirmed.  Happy dance for Easter eggs!  A little shake of the booty, a cute little wiggle of the hips, arms swaying and smiles permanently affized to her face.  All of that was accompanied by a song "choc-o-late caaaaaaaaaaaandy, choc-o-late caaaaaaaaaaaandy, choc-o-late caaaaaaaaaaaandy...". Over and over and over again.  And what melts my heart even more?  Hearing her say Hershey's...which sounds more like hoy-she.  Love this girl...and I wonder everyday if she knows just how special she is to me...

Thank you, Mom Easter Bunny!
Every family embraces traditions of years past and this has been mine...since birth...hollow-chocolate eggs filled with rainbow sprinkled non-pareils.  Mmmmmmmm.  Tastes of childhood fill my belly with warm hugs.

Oh...and my girl...working hard even on a holiday...
She picked up her new Crayola Extreme color set and went straight to work.  She asked me how to spell Happy Easter, drew some eggs and signed her name...Lov, Kayla.  Be still my heart.  Her abilities far exceed what I ever imagined possible...a little daily reminder to never stop hoping for and expecting more.

After the fun of opening each and every egg, eating half of the chocolate bunny {ears first, of course}...followed by eating a handful of jellybeans, a few packs of smarties, a dozen {or so} m&m's...and of course dancing off a bit of that sugar, it was time to move onto more Easter festivities...

Dressed in her Easter dress, of course.  Hot pink...her favorite color.  Just ask her...she'll tell you.  It's not pink...it's hot pink.

I did spare her the Easter bonnet, though.  I know it's a childhood right of passage...having to wear an Easter bonnet...but I never quite liked mine as a child.  Why torture her, too?
I love spring...

And I love celebrating Easter with family...
My Mom is the one person that created holiday magic for me as a child...and she is still creating holiday magic for me now...and more importantly, for Kayla.  She is the kindest, most giving person I know and I am so grateful to have her in my life.

I simply love that holidays are so exciting that they are exhausting.  Even a simple task like plucking an egg from a basket is quite a chore...

Holidays are great...but so are days like today...just veggin' out on the couch with my girl watching Tangled and eating chocolate bunnies...life is good.